Improving . . . or not

I'd like to think I'm on the road to recovery, although some times I worry.

I thought - again - that I was done with the kidney stone pain.  I was wrong.  This past weekend was lousy.  Saturday afternoon the old familiar ache started up, leaving me laying around most of the day and through Sunday, then Sunday night the stones passed.  Needless to say I had very little sleep Sunday night which led to missing work on Monday and feeling miserable all day.  Every stone I pray is the last, but they just keep coming.  I should call them the Rolling Stones - every time you think their history, here comes another tour!

Add to this the completely drained and lethargic feeling I've been stuck in, the terrible hip and knee pain that has increased to the point that standing up from sitting is excruciating and stairs are a special kind of torture, and I'm a mess.

All that being said, I still think I'm improving.  At least the stones are passing.  As I write this I'm at work and I feel fairly good.  I have a doctors appointment this afternoon, so we'll see how that goes.  I'm eating better since I've been out and home most evenings.  I went to the grocery store first thing on Saturday and stocked up, I'm excited about that.  The pain in my legs worries me.  I have this fear that I'm heading for a wheel chair.  I know the best remedy is weight loss.  That's a little worrying since my lack of success in that area is well known.

I am not ready to be this person that I am becoming.  I have so much I want to do.  I want to be an athlete again, play tennis, run, paintball, martial arts  I miss those things and hate the thought of giving them up permanently. But they seem so far away.

Changing gears, I went back to my part time job last night for the first time since before my surgery.  Things have certainly changed there, and not for the better.

When I was promoted to my first management position my old boss gave me 2 pieces of advice that I've always remembered and followed any time I find myself in a new position.

1) When you go in to a new position, especially when you're taking over supervision of a group of people, never walk in the door and start making changes.  Take the time to get to know your team, the environment, what is already working and what needs work. Listen to those already familiar with the job.  THEN fix what needs fixing.  If you come in guns blazing you will alienate the people that you need to support you and create enemies instead of friends.

2) Never bad mouth your predecessor.  Odds are they still have relationships in the job and you'll quickly build walls between yourself and your team that are very difficult to tear down later.

Well, now I've seen first hand what happens to someone who isn't aware of those 2 pieces of advice.

The old manager was promoted to a regional position.  I don't know if I've mentioned before my part time job, but I catch shoplifters for a big high end retailer.  This is a fun part time job and I've been doing it off and on for more than 23 years, including an 8 year stint as manager of the department for another high end, top 10 retailer. We use high tech camera equipment to monitor the store and then make stops as needed.  It can be a dangerous job and I've been in my share of fights over the years.  You have to trust the people you work with, not only to have your back in an altercation, but to make sound judgement calls. The team I work with all have some connection.  One of the guys is my best friend and we've know each other more than 25 years.  Three of us have worked together, including the manager that was just promoted, for more than 15 years.  The other folks we've all known for years as well.  We're a tight knit group and some of us have followed each other through several different companies.  In my opinion, there isn't a better team at what we do.

The level of experience and professionalism on this team is unusual.  You get a lot of wannabe cops, or "tough guys" who try their hand at this job.  The turnover rate is pretty high.  Our team is successful because most of us are professionals in other fields and have stuck around in this job because we enjoy it and enjoy working together, and of course the extra money helps.  There are several college degrees in various fields and overall we're a pretty intelligent group.  We have a retired parole officer, an ex-cop, which is pretty normal, but also a youth pastor, an office manager/accountant, and a graphic designer.  It's an eclectic group, but we have mutual respect and camaraderie that make it worth keeping the job, even though most of us can do fine without it.

So now one of us has moved on, our leader.  This is always a tricky situation with a tight team.  Inevitably one of the group will step up, capable and willing to take over the position, and many organizations are against promoting from within and insist on hiring from the outside, so the new manager already has to contend with at least one unhappy team member.  But this was just the start.

The company hired a manager who lacks in leadership and I'm not sure knows how to spell the word team.

She has done the opposite of my old advice in every way.

I started getting phone calls at home about all the craziness.  Soon I was hearing the same stories from 4 different sources, all venting about the terrible job she was doing and how everyone was threatening to walk.  Within the first week several complaints had been made to the district manager as well as the VP and most of the other staff members and store leadership had been in some type of altercation with her.

Now our old team is breaking up.  Two are transferring to other stores, one has an interview today and is likely leaving.  Another is going out for surgery next week and says he's not coming back, and I'm likely putting in my notice as well.  This means that this new manager is facing the holidays, the busiest, craziest time of the year with no team and trying to hire an entirely new team and train them at the worst possible time.  She's already made several comments about moving back home and giving up.

Truth is, I've been thinking about leaving for a while.  I'm tired of the long days and stress, but I didn't want to leave like this.  No one wins in this situation, not the manager, not the employees, and not the company.  It really is a shame.  In a way I feel bad for the newby.  I have half a heart to sit down with her and give her the advice that has served me well.  On the other hand, she brought this on herself and frankly deserves the grief she's created.  I think on some level all the bluster and mouthing off was in an effort to establish her authority, to show that she was tough and could handle the position, knowing she had big shoes to fill.  It was just the wrong attitude, and I hope that the lesson is learned, hard though it may be.

Just another example that change is the universal constant and sometimes things get better and sometimes they don't.  I think for me this is just another step toward fixing my life overall, and although it's bittersweet, I know I'll continue to carry these friendships with me.