Unintended Consequences. . .

I've learned that few things go as planned in this life, some for the best, some for the worst.  All we can do is be as prepared as possible and roll with the punches as we accept what comes. Having a positive attitude is key and treating others with compassion and caring makes all the difference.  That is easier said than done sometimes, but absolutely true and worth the effort. Faith that God has a plan for us helps, even when we're scared.

So I finally had enough of the on again/off again pain in my side.  I went back to the doctor, this time explaining that I've been taking the meds they gave me last time for kidney infection and the pain was still coming back, it has to be something else. So, they sent me for a CT Scan.  I was afraid that would be the answer, I really can't afford a bunch of new doctor bills and lab bills.  Truth is though, I can't afford not to start fixing my health.  It's getting to the point of being debilitating.  So I went straight from the doc's office to the radiology office and had the CT scan.  They told me that I couldn't leave until the doc reviewed the scan.  That worried me. I hate when they won't tell me what's going on. A few minutes later I'm told that I have a big kidney stone and should go immediately to the ER where they will be expecting me.  Now I'm freaking out a little.  The Emergency Room?  As in hospital ER? Was I about to have emergency surgery?  When would I get to leave?  No one was answering any of these questions.

I nervously entered the ER, where I went through a metal detector / security checkpoint to get in the door.  This does little to make me feel safe.  I check in, am told to have a seat and they'll call me back.  Again, no answers, just more waiting.  Finally I'm called back, but just to feel out paperwork, then told again to have a seat.  Then called back again to "triage" where a nurse listens to why I'm there, enters a few things in the computer, and tells me to have a seat again.  Four and a half hours later.  Not kidding.  Four and a half hours later I'm called into a tiny side room to speak with the doctor on call.  He tells me I have a big kidney stone, too big to pass - which is good news, but very painful, which I already knew.  He says that it's not causing a blockage and my kidney looks fine so go home and get an appointment with a urologist.  I was in front of him for less that 5 minutes.  Can't wait to see the bill for that.

Anyway, to move the story along, phone calls are made, appointments are set, visits and consultations occur and a few days later I'm scheduled to have this giant pain causing rock excavated from my body.  Of course being me, its in a weird place so the surgeon won't know which method he will use to get rid of the stone until I'm on the operating table and xray is in place.  This is supposed to be an outpatient procedure so I have to have someone there to bring me home afterwards, so my parents meet me at the hospital bright and early on Monday morning.  So I'm on the operating table, xray in place, breathing oxygen, no idea if they'll be using Lithotripsy (sonic hammer) or the more painful and invasive laser to burn the stone away, so once again I'm left in the dark. Quite literally as they are putting me to sleep.  I breath in and start to feel woozy and . . .

I wake up hearing multiple people calling my name.  I see faces above me then . . .

I wake up again in the recovery area with an oxygen mask on.  Coughing my head off.  I can't cough enough, feels like I have pneumonia.  After a long time someone finally comes around to explain what happened.  Good news - they were able to do Lithotripsy to bust up the stone.   Bad news - I somehow spit out the mouth guard that keeps one from biting down on the breathing tube that is installed while one is under anesthesia, so I bit down on the tube, crushing it and cutting off my air flow, then I began trying to suck in deep breaths in a panic which caused damage and fluid in my lungs.  Now my out patient visit becomes an extra day in the hospital for "observation" while they try to get the fluid out of my lungs and bring my oxygen level up.

I spent a miserable day, night, and most of the next day in the hospital, constantly wearing one type of oxygen mask or another, being poked and prodded and tested.  Oh did I mention that I wasn't allowed food or drink?  Yep, nothing.  I went for about 36 hours with not even water.  I was so ready to get out.  They promised to let me go all the next day, but kept postponing it.  Then decided I needed to stay because my oxygen level wasn't to their liking.  I finally managed to talk them into letting me go.

What happened next tested my faith in the medical community, in the universe itself.  I finally got to drink ice water and have meals again.  Even hospital food is good after a day and a half of nothing.  A couple of hours after I started drinking water, the pain in my side came back, full force.  I was crushed. I had convinced myself that I was through with that pain, that the magic sonic hammer would pulverize my kidney stone into dust and that aspect of my life was behind me, so I was devastated to have the pain come back and suddenly question if all I'd been through for the last several days was for nothing!  I don't know if the tears were because of the pain or the failure I felt.  Finally the surgeon stopped by to see me and explained that it would take some time for the pieces to pass and that I would still have pain until then.  I was very skeptical, but by Friday night they were leaving my body and took the pain with them.

I left the hospital that Tuesday, happy to be free despite the pain.  I hate hospital beds.  I was very weak and in pain so my parents were able to convince me to spend a few days at their house.

This brings me back to unintended consequences.  The damage to my lungs, for which I'm still recovering, was an unintended consequence - as is the weakness in my legs from laying around and barely moving for a week, but there were positive unintended consequences as well.

I let my guard down and allowed my parents to take care of things for those few days. Another time there was no way I would have been able to do that, pride an all, but I was just too tired and in pain to argue.  I'm glad I did.  Despite the pain I enjoyed the time I spent with them.  We had long conversations, watched TV, enjoyed my Mom's home cooking.  I think they enjoyed me being there and I saw how helping me made them happy.

Over the course of my infirmity I received numerous texts, phone calls, and a few visits.  I saw the friends that really care and the cynical side of me made note of those who didn't.  My family was right by my side, my brother and sister came to the hospital and visited at my parents.  Aunts and uncles I haven't seen in years called constantly.  I don't ever want to be a burden to anyone, but it was reassuring to know that there are so many people that care.  My boss was one of the people that texted me most.  She was great.  I've never worked for anyone that really seemed to care for my well being, beyond just the absence of my work. I'm thankful for all these folks.

So the ultimate unintended consequence from my ordeal is my further realization that I am cared for, and that how we treat others is important and defines our character.  It is further proof that discarding my cynical, angry demeanor in favor of a more positive outlook and a more compassionate attitude toward others will not only increase my standing with them, but will make me happier as a result.  My parents have lived a life of service, my father was a fire fighter, my mother a homemaker and a secretary.  They always put their kids and family first, they served their church and their community by extension, and they take their happiness as they go.  I admire that and will strive to emulate them more in my life.  I am very thankful for all of them and for the opportunity to better myself.  I'm working more on my health, thinking more about my faith, and overall looking to be a better man. Who'd have thought a kidney stone could cause all that?