Enjoying the moment . . .

So I'm still dealing with some of the "shrapnel" from my lithotripsy.  Woke up at 4 am the other morning in terrible pain, to the point of vomiting.  The pain lasted most of the day.  I went on to work because I had several things that had to be done, and frankly I can writhe in pain at the office as well as at home.  At least at the office I can struggle to focus on work and sort of block some of the pain out for a little while.  I called my urologist, twice, to no affect.  I'm not real happy with them right now.  See, I went Monday and was poked and prodded while they took x-rays and ultrasounds of my kidneys so I can go back on Friday and meet with the doc to review them and see what the status is since the lithotripsy.  So while I'm in agony, my thoughts are that they could review said records a day or so early and tell me what I'm facing.  Will this new stone pass?  Is it too big?  Will I have to have more surgery?  Twice I'm told the nurse will look at the x-rays and ultrasound and call me and I get no call.  Luckily toward the end of the workday the pain eases and just before I leave for home I go to the restroom and pass 3 small stones.  Talk about feeling relieved.  I went home and crashed. Took some meds and slept most of the night.

So I'm laying at home last night, having talked to several family members who've been sick with colds, etc.  Normal for this time of year I guess.  I take a deep breath and just enjoy for a moment the fact that I can breath normally.  I stretch out and enjoy that for the moment I'm not in any real pain.  I know that I rarely take a moment and just realize that I'm ok.  Take that moment a step farther and become thankful that I'm ok.  I don't think we are very mindful of ourselves and our situations until there is some issue, some problem, that asserts itself into our consciousness and demands our attention.  Having experienced pain so intense that I could barely function perhaps has caused a certain mindfulness for me.  I am aware of my condition and grateful for it.  I still have issues for sure, my weight, my hip, but for the moment I feel good and I thank God for that.

In other news I had a great Thanksgiving.  For the first time in many years I didn't work or have to prepare for a long workday on "Black Friday" and could just hang out with my family and enjoy the day.  I am certainly enjoying not working the part time job, although I haven't done any thing productive with my extra time yet.  I'm still concerned about my budget, but I'll get through.  

I'm still taking baby steps on the path of healing, but I'm feeling optimistic right now, and honestly, that in itself is an improvement for me.